YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Sagas, myths, legends, Hollywood, Fantasy, and all the non-historical topics

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby John Olinger on August 8th, 2007, 6:38 pm

I posted this on my Roman group's site and got such a good response I thought I'd share it with you.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....


You can identify another Tribe by the curses you heard in their camp.

You can spot 100% wool or linen at 30 yards.

You have spent hundreds of dollars on clothes that went out of style 2000 years ago

You have replayed a Discovery / History Channel's documentary 25 times in a row just to get a glimpse of your foot in the left hand corner of the screen.

You've uttered the phrase, "only 68 more days until (pick an event)".

Your guests see your kit and ask if you are in a theater production.

When the power goes out you click into 1Th century mode, and the oil lamps come out.

You have a wooden barrel or canteens soaking in the bathtub.

You travel over 1,000 miles to sleep in a tent... on the ground.

You've driven by some open land and thought, "Wow! What a great place for a battle!"

You've worn wool when the temperature tops 100 degrees... repeatedly

You look at a beautiful girl in a bikini and wonder what she looks like in a peplos.

You've received cuts, burns, ticks, chiggers, poison ivy, and still consider it a good weekend.

You've made a career decision based upon its impact on reenactment weekends.

You've made a vehicle purchase decision based on the length of your tent poles.

On Monday your business associates comment on the funny sunburn that ends at the hat line.

No one will attend a historic movie with you.

Your $20,000 car sits out in the rain so your $200 tent can stay in the garage.

You own real books ... and READ them.

You are on PETA's hit list ... we love animals: we eat them and wear their skins.

Enroute to/from an event, you are asked at a gas station/restaurant/hospital if you are Amish
(OK this is left over from my A.C.W. days, but it has actually happened).

You spend more on a pair of reenacting shoes than you do "dress" or normal shoes.

Your neighbors are no longer curious when they see you carry around spears, swords, or shields.

You earn a good salary, but you're always broke.

Your mailman stays confused (what the heck rank are you in the Reserves, anyway?).

You appreciate Monty Python and can recite all their famous skits.

Your Christmas/birthday wish list reads like a quartermaster's supply request.

You eat five meals out of a bowl and wash it twice.

You look into the bottom of your mug to make sure it's not too nasty and then shake out the ants before filling it for another round, yet you ask for a clean knife at a restaurant because it has water spots.

You fly strange banners.

You ( or your kids ) can correct their history teacher.

When the car next to you is blaring rap out the window at a stoplight you return fire with Scotland the Brave.

You go to yard sales looking for clay jugs and wooden barrels.

You own armor.

Your bedroom looks like a museum exhibit.

You can spot the difference between hand and machine stitching.

You ever did something stupid "Because the "Chieftain" told me to."

You ever did something stupid in the name of authenticity.

You don't know what it is and it doesn't taste good, but your eating it anyway.
Scotauiros
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Postby Dan Crowther on August 8th, 2007, 8:18 pm

Friend visiting your house: "Where's an electrical outlet?"
Off hand reply: "Right over there behind the spear and shield"

Get excited over a rusty chunk of metal and treasuring it because it's REAL wrought iron.

Ask your friends if they have any animal bones they're not using.

When you need an everyday common item (that you could easily buy), you seriously entertain the idea of not only making it yourself, but starting from the RAW materials. Even if that would mean, smelting iron, shearing a sheep, butchering the neighbors pets, or felling trees.

You drive by road kill and wonder if there's any usable parts you need.
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Postby Kevin Beckham on August 9th, 2007, 11:37 pm

Gotta love it. The only part is I AM a history teacher, but most of it is me to a "t"
Tu Aroi
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Postby Justin H on August 10th, 2007, 9:15 am

You don't bother sleeping with the alarm on, there is a sword by your bed.

You consider the rivalry between the Sith and Jedi a future version of the Romans and Celts.

You can throw a spear farther than you can throw a football.
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Postby Matt Yascolt on August 16th, 2007, 2:08 pm

You try killing the rabbit in the backyard because it would look great hanging in your camp

You go to the grocery store and buy something like 10 pounds of honey, cloves, and ginger then ask the man at the meat counter if he has any whole roast suckling pigs.

Your neighbors don't call the police anymore when they see you throwing spears in your backyard

You get most of your cuts from working on stuff in your campsite and on the battle field than you do at work.
Guddieu Clancy

"I did not undertake the war for private ends, but in the cause of national liberty..." Vercingetorix to Caesar
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Postby Alex Lee on March 3rd, 2008, 11:49 am

lol omg thats brilliant :P
everything there ive done..but not the car yet but i just got car that has loads of backspace for my kit :P lol
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You know you're a reenactor when....

Postby Will Marshall-Hall on March 3rd, 2008, 7:27 pm

You get excited wondering what wound you will end up at the Casualty department closest to where your next show is going to be.......

You ignore cheerleaders and get excited at hot girls in Roman outfits.......

You are the only person in the nieghbourhood not panicking over the extended powercut.....

You have two swords by the bed, a Roman Gladius for home defense in small spaces and a Celtic slashing sword for the wide open kitchen and living room spaces......God I can't believe I just admitted to that.....hahhahahahha

You wear your 6mm hamata without the doubler under your coat at a pub in Wales because someone local 16 year old ;hard lad' is going to kick off and start a fight with a knife at some time after 9pm...hahahaaaa....never actually done that but I've been in a position where I wished I'd thought of it....hahhaha

You buy your wife a silver necktorc for Christmas that cost more than the gift she really wanted.....

I'd better stop now before I get carried away....lol
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Bruce Willis on March 7th, 2009, 10:19 am

Good ones, but.......


You don't have to spend and hour removing Hoppes 9 from the crevices of your hands

You don't have to spend 30$ per event to make your weapon look and sound real

You don't have to dismantled and oil your sword/hasta/javeling/shield every time you use it.

You don't have to wear 30 pound of equipment on your waste

You don't have to worry about changing sparkplugs or oil to travel around a battlefield

You don't have to tow a flatbed trailer to each event and spend a fortune on gas....unless you are bring a chariot.

You don't have to worry about temp deafness

The campfire is the only thing that will burn you

The helmets we wear are actually repros.............
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Alex Hovorka on September 3rd, 2009, 5:42 pm

Well done...
I only have two (bicycle related)

You strap a spear to your bike in case you ride by a herd of deer (its true)

You consider buying a Celtic Coolus helmet for biking
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Denis Grabow on October 4th, 2009, 11:58 am

Someone draws a springknive to threaten you. "You call this a knife? This is a knife" And you unsheath your dagger. Which the guy takes as opportunity to pee his pants and run away. (happened to our chieftain once)

You're asked if you're some kind of priest because you wear a cloak.

You wear your cloak when otherwise dressed in modern clothes, because it's much more comfortable, more weatherproof and warmer than your modern jacket is.
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Wenzel Ribbens on October 4th, 2009, 1:11 pm

You wonder if it's time to shave the sheep of your neighbour

You are a metalhead, but prefer not to buy bracelets with spikes because it doesn't fit with your hobby

You count how many more hours you need to work for a new dagger

You prefer your Celtic shoes over normal ones - "Because the leather fits much better to the shape of your feet"

You have the shape of your historical sandals tanned into your feet

You ask your History teacher over and over again if you may be the teacher for once

You wear your historical belt in real life

You're always criticizing movies like Alexander and 300

You get 5% on a schooltest because you were looking up wheter Celts would use a blowing horn

You recognize Proto-Celtic words in your own language
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Dru Durman on October 7th, 2009, 8:14 am

OK, I know I've come a tad late to this thread, but had to add a couple more based on personal experience:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN:

You experience immense pride when you moustache reaches your jawline and can be used to strain drink through (also taking a 10% cut of any cream/mayonnaise/honey etc you eat), and then feel a little upset when your (non reenactor) girlfriend tells you to trim it back or she won't kiss you...

You consider dying well an artform, and, what is more, can and will congratulate a warrior who dies particlarly well after the battle...

You find yourself admiring a reenactor playing a Norman knight because he's shaved the back of his head exactly to match the Norman hairstyles in the Bayeaux Tapestry...despite the fact he must have a decent dayjob to afford all that kit...
Dywow genes!
(Cornish: Gods be with you!)

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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Joe E on October 20th, 2009, 9:47 am

...You stay up late working your fingers bloody on a piece of kit when you are pretty sure you could have gotten laid if you'd just gone to bed with your wife.
...You've scrolled through more than 50 pages of google images full of Scottish kilts and argyle socks searching for an image of authentic ancient Celtic tartan.
...You start out going to the hardware store on an important mission to get supplies for a home remodeling job and stay for an extra hour looking at copper wire, anything solid brass, and going through their metal stock til your hands are black.
...You have some sort of stains and/or wounds on your hands RIGHT NOW from your last kit project.
...You just wore your homemade Celtic shoes to take your kid to the bus stop.
...You re-read accounts of the siege of Alesia hoping it will end differently this time.
...Your wife has caught you naked but for a torc, holding a sword and making scary faces in front of a full-length mirror *redface*
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby mante vd heuvel on November 21st, 2009, 5:18 pm

well...I believe I'm an ancient re-enactor *biggrin*
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Sarah Hare on February 18th, 2011, 3:10 pm

These are awesome!!

You've got strange looks when you've answered the door with woad (aka: blue sharpie) on your face.

You'd rather walk around naked than take your torc off.

You take pictures of your battle wounds and show them to your friends.

You hope someone will ask you about a scar or injury so you can brag about the epic battle you were in.. whether you won or lost.

You hesitate to make changes to your appearance (noticeable-in-kit tattoos, certain piercings, hair styles and colour, etc) incase you won't look as "period correct."
The extremity of the earth is ours, but this is the end of the habitable world. The Romans are in the heart of our country, No submission can satisfy their pride. While the land has anything left it's a theatre of war.They make a desert and call it peace.
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Livio Asta on February 19th, 2011, 11:46 am

Friends ask you questions like: <<I have seen a dead fox on the side of the road; do you need it?>> and you seriously think about it.
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Denis Grabow on February 19th, 2011, 12:20 pm

When you look at a friends couch and think: Great pattern for a pair of trousers.
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Dru Durman on February 19th, 2011, 12:51 pm

You spend 6 weeks working for a blacksmith friend instead of trying hard to find a real job because he's paying you in accurately reproduced weapons.

You can find your way to the IA section of the British Museum with your eyes closed, and walk straight past loads of other tourist drawing cabinets in a beeline for cabinets that most of them walk past, then spend minutes drooling over the detail and beauty, and the sheer awesomeness at being this close to an object over 2,000 years old.

You have the email address of the curator of the Europe and Pre-History Department at the British Museum in your email address book.

You book an appointment in the British Museum to spend three hours measuring a 1st Century sword in order to make the best reproduction you can.

You paint your skin with your own urine mixed with woad to find out if you CAN dye your skin with woad, then having decided that tattoos are the most likely answer, spend days carefully planning tattoos based on patterns from a dig near you in your time period, then even longer saving up to pay for them.

You pay over £20 an event to have your hair done in a style found on an IA sword pommel so that you look even more the part.

One of the most important reasons for keeping in shape is that when topless on the battlefield you look like a warrior.
Dywow genes!
(Cornish: Gods be with you!)

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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Will Marshall-Hall on February 20th, 2011, 4:35 pm

God Dru, How did you know I've done all those things before I met you? lol

We are like peas in a pod mate...apart from I'm a broad bean and you're a string bean...bear with me, just going by size and shape here lol
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Denis Grabow on February 21st, 2011, 1:39 pm

The kids on the street only know you as "The bard" / "Guy with the harp"

When you go out for a night hiking tour, wearing your cloak and a torch (for the light), people change to the other side of the street. And a car stops, the driver half exits to take a look, then gets back in and turns the car around to drive where he came from. (It really happened.)
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Bob Clarke on February 21st, 2011, 2:10 pm

Greetings all from Carnilios !
You arrive at bodmin A&E and try to explain.... The blood coming from my Nuts was due to not being fast enough to get out of the way of a spear *eek* and your mate's cut face was because he had a go at deflecting a "Mail" fist with his head !! *lol*

Happy Days.... Gods be with you all.
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Dru Durman on February 21st, 2011, 3:11 pm

You realise the last ten books you read were a mixture of historical fiction, historical fact and possibly some fantasy fiction. OK, one of the historical fact was Donitz and the Wolfpacks about the U-boats in WWII, but still...

Oh yeah, and you have archaeological reports lying around despite the fact you have no academic qualifications in archaeology, or even history (mainly because history got all modern political (read BORING!) at GCSE level...

Or of course when someone does that thing on Facebook about 'grab the nearest book, turn to page 'x' and type sentence 'y' as your status', you end up with something random like "They were perhaps Celticised rather than actually Celtic"...
Dywow genes!
(Cornish: Gods be with you!)

Drustanos

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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Arevaco Macanudo on February 22nd, 2011, 4:09 pm

post deleted by user.
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Edwin Deady on March 17th, 2011, 6:40 am

Just seen this thread. I knew I was a woodsman because I had to walk eight mile back home once on the roads through Savernake Forest because I couldn't thumb a lift, had been a mixup over transport and I had been left on my own having to carry a tree-felling axe home. It was a forest after all, what else would you be carrying? Silly car drivers.

I think I must be a reenactor because my right foot keeps catching bits of leg armour under the desk and if I knock into a bookcase then a helmet falls off.

I know of a reenactor who used to take part in protests against the export of live animals for slaughter. Things got a bit heavy and he took to wearing a breastplate under his jacket. A policeman took a swing at him and hurt his fist on the breastplate whereupon he was arrested and charged with assault. No eventual charge, "I think they called it a draw".
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANCIENT REENACTOR WHEN....

Postby Patrick Duerr on March 17th, 2011, 8:23 am

... When you can cuss in languages people didn't even know existed these days.
Tovta Marae da Augu, Tosgo Mavi Vergalla
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